Late night recap

All i can do is believe in myself. Hope and pray i'm making the right decisions throughout my journey. My heart feels so empty and so full at the same time. If she only knew how much I loved her. If we could only talk about the hard times. Move past them. I wish she could see how proud i am. Noone tells you how hard it is to let your kids go. These late teen years have been crazy hard. But i am here stop pushing me away.

A moment of silence

Hold the ones you love tight!! You never know if there is a tomorrow. 3 in my family in 3 months, how much more can we take. Keep my babies and the family safe, the man i love and his family TOO. I'm at a loss for words...the whole story to come...broken hearts for now.

Pep talk

Today is a new day you can do this!!!!

I hate when the kids get picked up to go to their dads. I mean it's his time, he's a good dad, but still sucks!! So this is what i have to say to myself to just understand, this is life, go make it better, for YOU. No one else can do it for you. There's no more excuses. Just go do you!! Sooooo.

Today is a new day, you can do this!!

Straighten up that crown and go!!!

Struggle of the mind

I find myself thinking....
I love more than words could explain.  I was so lost and yet my path led me here.  There's no one I would rather spend my time with. There's never been anyone I don't want to hide anything from.
Brutal truth was a concept that has become a reality everyday.
The differences between people are sometimes hard to understand but we try.
I came in like a wrecking ball, 4 kids and all to a man who never wanted kids. Found myself completely in love with something so different from my original plan.
You never think you will end up sharing your kids, losing almost everything you worked your life for and then trying to start a new family, a new life with someone who doesn't know your memories or theirs. There's pieces you lose along a path like that.  Building them back is harder than you think. But here I am on the brink of a new life, a new me, a new love that's just insanely right and he does love my kids. 
But wait...i don't know how to do this life and have my family dreams, love as passionately as i do but be my own person.
I'm still learning who I am. . .
I have to remind myself everyday that its ok to start a new life, its ok that the kids family just got bigger, that it might not be the original plan but its growing into something more than ever dreamed.

So have patience. I will rise from these ashes.

Almost there.

Difference of opinion

So my kids are outside playing with water guns and water sling shots cuz its hot out, they were told only one bucket of water so they are not in and out of the house refilling the bucket making a mess or waisting water as some pay for water. ....when checking on them we find my 8 year old son sitting on the ground with his head in the bucket of water.  Getting his hair wet, blowing bubbles, wishing he was in a pool who knows. .....i laugh because lets face it kinda a funny picture, and I smile because they are making due with what they have and not sitting inside playing video games, but i got a difference of opinion saying that was the stupidest thing ever why would he put his head in the bucket, comments like it must be a cultural thing, or I would never let my kids do that.... So now i'm looking for comments....who else's kids would put their head in a bucket??? Would you laugh? Would you stop them from doing it? .....????

Sometimes a song says it all

https://youtu.be/DmnKHNuzoUo

Choose to be a better people

We are all a universal people. There is no discrimination on Love. Each and everyone of us is meant to fly, to teach, to learn, to dream.  Soar high all you beautiful human beings. Reach for greatness. No more hate for your neighbors. If we can ban together in a world so full of selfishness and ridicule we can start a new world instead of destroying the one our elders have fought and worked so hard for.